July 22,09 Shit, Shit, Shit

I have much frustration right now as I sit here on my new blog and let out some anger. I want this today to be the first time that I let people know that they are not alone. Being sober today is shitty. Why, because I am still trying to fiqure it out and everyone else around me does not seem to be in the same spot as I am in. I have a year and 7 months of sobriety and yet I am still a baby in the sober world. My spouse is out drinking with work people and I am home with my kids. I don't want this blog to be all about me complaining, however it is going to be this way today. When i took my last drink and if I could see into the future, would I have stopped? I really hope so. I want to be some where else right now. I want serenity, don't we all? See I know it is possible to have because I have had in in the shoty time I have been sober. But as I have been told " it" gets better. "It" also gets harder trying to find the balance. My children are my life right now, and really always have. I am wanting to know how to balance being sober...motherhood...my so-called marriage...work...no exsistant social life and family. Oh and the house hold ...oh and starting a buisness. I don't know how to do it all. Well now, today I won't drink. I will sit here and read and wait for tomorrow to come.